I’m gonna keep it real. I wanted to write about the positives of The Crow reboot. No one died…that’s alI I got. I feel like at some point, I was like “Well, does the movie have to be good? Bill Skarsgard AND FKA Twigs are in it…” I love them both. And, there are totally other movies I only like because of the cast. I also don’t really revere the version of The Crow with Brandon Lee. I do like that movie, and I do think it’s well made. Even though it seems like it’s totally my vibe, idk I think it’s one of those “you had to be there” movies. And, I was not there. It came out in 1994! I think that if I was older, I would appreciate it more. That old man I’m married to loves to hoot and holler about The Crow. He’s also Asian, and God only knows why they aren’t really in the superhero genre as much as the palm people.

Since I see “The Crow” as an “you had to be there” type of movie, I also realize that a lot of people involved in the reboot were also “not there.” Not only is BIll NOT American, but he’s only a little bit older than I am. Which really doesn’t matter because it appears that The Crow wasn’t even released in Sweden. Twigs is older, but she is not American either. I truly don’t think they understood the impact that this movie had on Goth-Americans. Or how much contraians like to be annoying and hate everything. This movie had been in development hell for almost 20 years. That was mostly because they were unable to get an actor to play Eric Draven. Bradley Cooper, Ryan Gosling, and Channing Tatum were “there”. So of course it was gonna fall apart.

I think that movies that are dark in nature and spend a lot of time in “Development Hell” are cursed in a way. Like, the vibe is OFF for a lot of these movies. The Crow in particular is most known for the untimely death of Brandon Lee. I could see people not wanting to attach themselves to that. Bill Skarsgard was a lil upset when the ending of the remake was changed so there could be a sequel. And, it’s not like he has anything against playing dark roles. He has no beef with remakes or sequels.Babe is literally playing Pennywise again, and Nosferatu comes out this Christmas. I think the combination of the tragic death of Brandon Lee, the dark subject matter, my curse on Rupert Sanders, the creator’s (rightful) uncooperativeness, and the nostalgia factor led to this film’s downfall.

Despite all of that, I do actually love that Chad Stahelski supported Bill playing Eric. Outside of directing Bill in John Wick 4, he was Brandon Lee’s stunt double on the OG Crow movie. I imagine remaking this film was very therapeutic despite it’s obvious problems. John Wick is beloved, and Stahelski makes the environment on set very safe for everyone involved despite the movies being very gun heavy and violent. Live rounds have no business on a movie set, and he knows that first hand. The similar themes of John Wick and The Crow are not immediately seen, but once you point them out, it’s hard to not see the films as cousins of each other. That’s something I liked about The remake of The Crow. You can tell the people cared. But maybe there should have been more cultural context involved in it. The movie totally has an aura that makes it for a specific audience. But, I don’t think that the audience was fans of the original movie, or even the comic books.

I spoke about this with my friends at length already, so if you’ve heard this before…Sorry. But I think that a completely different movie should have been made that was a love letter to stuntmen, John Wick, The Matrix, and The Crow. There could have been a movie that starred Bill Skarsgard and Twigs as a young couple with separate troubled pasts that try to move on in life. BIll’s character could have been deep into Swedish esoteric occultism and introduces his girlfriend to it.

They die, tragically. Instead of Kronos….Víðarr a Norse god associated with vengeance shows up. The place between life and death could look similar to

Víðarr says that his late father’s ravens told Odin and Víðarr what happened and offer to help him get revenge. I think this idea would have better suited everyone involved. At the end, he could have been taken to Valhalla by a Valkerie that looked like Shelly. Thus, removing the possibility of a sequel but gave our lil anti-hero a happy ending. At one point I said the “remake” of Susperia was more of someone loving the original one and making a movie BASED on the OG. I think that’s what should have been done with this movie. I really would love to see a movie where stunt actors get the respect the deserve and a love letter to them is critically acclaimed and loved. Anyway, enough yapping, it’s finally fall! I have to focus and get into horror mode.