I’m not gonna hold y’all, but obviously my favorite film of the year is Nosferatu. It hasn’t even came out yet, but sheesh. So, I decided to make a list of the films I felt encompassed this year now, because I promise, you’re gonna be sick of me post Noseraftu.

Longlegs

Ok, so the only thing that could improve the cast for Nosferatu is literally adding Nicolas Cage. Yeah, I know he has already been in a Dracula movie recently, but so has Nicholas Hoult! And Bill Skarsgard and Willem Dafoe have also been in Vampire media so…. I don’t wanna hear it! Nicolas Cage in everything, forever.

Anyway, I really enjoyed Longlegs. I really like the idea of Malika Monroe being the 2020’s scream queen. I mean, it’s obviously Jenna Ortega. But Maybe Monroe can be Scream Princess of the 2020s. Longlegs was the lovechild of Silence of the Lambs, The Zodiac Killer, and Se7en. Like, I don;’t get scared easily anymore, but this was scary.

Outside of the plot, I loved the makeup they chose to gave Longlegs. Marilyn Manson is an IRL monster so it was super creepy. I love movies that make me think a lot after the fact. Longlegs had me wanting to write a timeline of everything! I think Osgood Perking is really great when it comes to things like this because I remember really marinating on The Blackcoats’s Daughter as well. I really admire Perkin’s talent for world building. Also, ladies, how we feelin’ about Blair Underwood?? I remember women in my family being insane over him in the ninties. They were on to something, I fear.

The marketing of this movie was so immersive and that made the movie a lot of fun to watch. There was a phone number you could call and receive a message from Longlegs, there were cyphers that could be solved, and a website that looks like an unprofessional made it. I was really impressed and reminded me of movies in the early 2000s that immersed you into the story. It also made me really nostalgic for “Special Features” on DVDs. I think the process of the marketing aspect of this movie would have been so interesting. Especially because it appears they did not have a lot of money to do all that they did.

Longlegs has a great deal of rewatchability. I suggest you pay extra attention to the shadows! This movie may not have been as well received by critics, it’s triple platinum in my house though. I do think the supernatural stuff could have been a little bit more ambiguous. Like, I think if there was more of a debate if the “man downstairs” and the psychic stuff was toned down just a little bit, we would be debating on it for a long time. I also just think someone being weird about people’s birthdays is so off putting. But, I’m an astrology girlie. The call is coming from inside the house.

Smile 2

Ok, so you might think I’m crazy. But I truly think this was better than the first movie. Unlike the first movie, I am very excited for what’s next for this series. Originally, I felt like Smile was a cute movie that didn’t need a sequel. The story told was the story told, and I didn’t think that they could expand on the story in a meaningful way. But, now I want an entire smile universe. I also really appreciate the updated look of the entity. Like, I know people can get addicted to mucinex, so the second it kind of looked like the mucinex mascot was funny to me. Dare I say, it made me smile? The absolute bleakness of this movie was an interesting choice. It reminded me of a non western horror in the sense that Ms. Girl was not going to win, but I still wanted to root for her. Like I said before, the story told was the story told. But even if you were to watch it again, you would still hope she found some way out.

Heretic

So, as you know, I grew up in Las Vegas. So, I know a lot of Mormon people. Even though I don’t agree with their religion. I do respect them as mu friends and fellow Christians. I was a little worried about seeing this, because I was worried it would come from a hateful place. I think Heretic toed the line of horror and respect. Obviously, religion and horror don’t have the best relationship. A good example of this is another movie that came out this year, Immaculate. I felt that was a little disrespectful. Whereas The Exorcist and The Nun are still scary and respectful. The weird thing about Immaculate, is that there is a tru-ish story similar to what happened. And, I also remember reading about a nun who had a baby that some people were convinced was Christ reborn, but I can’t find like, a “real” source. So, maybe that was fictional. The baby was a girl anyway. And, she apparently ended up pregnant too like…A lot going on there! Maria Monk’s shenanigans would also make a good horror movie. I also feel like Immaculate was a odd title choice. Mary is the Immaculate Conception, not Jesus. And, it’s a huge deal in Catholicism. I don’t get it! I did appreciate the unspoken commentary on women’s bodily autonomy in conversation with Catholicism, I feel like the film should have utilized a woman’s cult instead of nuns. I feel like that would have made more sense. A group of woman wanting a savior with no input from a man. Since you know, men be on that bullshit sometimes. Then the title would have made so much more sense. Immaculate could have been a reverse Rosemary’s Baby. Which would have been especially cool because Immaculate was out at the same time as the prequel to The Omen. I wanted to point all this out because while there wasn’t good religious horror that pertained to my religion this year, it did exist.

Anyway, back to Heretic. I wish I liked romantic comedies, because I heard other people spoke off an added layer of fear because Hugh Grant generally plays nice men in movie. Now that I think about it, I think I’ve only seen him in Paddington. If he can frame a national treasure, he can lock innocent women in his basement. The one thing I would change about this movie is I would have had ole boy’s arguments be factually correct. If I was to argue religion (which I would actually not do), I would bring up the similarities between Christ and Helios (or Dionysus!), instead of Krishna. I would have asked them why the popular Egyptian iconography of Isis lactating Harpocrates predates any Madonna and Child artwork by at least 200 years and still manged to be virtually the same. Or even question why the motif of a dying and rising God is in so many cultures!

Baldur in Norse Mythology

Quetzalcoatl in Aztec culture

Inanna in Mesopotamian/ANE culture

Zagreus in Greek Mythology…Or even Persephone (his mom)

Izanami in Japanese Culture

If you really wanna see someone question things, you could inquire why the 12 apostles also correspond to the Zodiac. If they were academically inclined, someone could point out that Jesus ranks highly on the Rank Ragland mythotype. Others that do so include: Alexander the Great, Muhammad, Robin Hood, Buddha, William Wallace, King Arthur, Perseus, and oddly enough Luke Skywalker. Oh, and btw I’m literally Catholic but a big fan of anthropology and esoteric mysticism. That’s why I think Mormon lore is kind of cool from a historical standpoint. So, more or less, a nerd.

I Saw The TV Glow

Speaking of being a nerd…. If there are no more Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans, I am dead. Buffy came into my life when I was going through it (childhood)! So, I could really relate to the main characters feelings towards The Pink Opaque. I would have loved to have someone my age to share that with. In my teenage years, I distinctly remember writing myself into Buffy and Harry Potter fan fiction and my mother getting PISSED because she thought it was real. Somewhat related: My friends used to call me Butters because I would get in trouble for literally no reason! Now that I’m an adult, I’m pretty sure the reason is being neurodivergent. But, that’s pretty irrelevant now since we are no contact. What’s crazy is that after that event, I start doing actually bad things and not leaving a trace of it. So, if any parents are reading this, maybe don’t go through your kids things and assume it’s a diary lol.

Recently, I’ve been going through it and man, let me tell you the ending of this movie…It be like that sometimes. You just have to keep going even if you feel like something is wrong. Since I am technically queer (literally an X on the Kinsey Scale, figuratively married to chicken named Camilla that I love very much). I did see myself in Owen’s character. Being yourself can be scary and dangerous! Like even though I haven’t been diagnosed with autism, there are a few things my kid’s pediatricians have told me that have given me pause. My connection to Owen was not connected to my sexuality, it was much more like: this looks like OCD/autism..they’re just like me fr. I think anyone with a modicum of empathy can see themself in him. Even if you’re “normal”. But, my absolute favorite thing was the soundtrack! It’s very Indie Pop, which also reminded me of what it was like to be a teenage girl, because that was (is) my favorite genre of music. It’s also reminded me of my childhood, even though these artists were not around then

Nightbitch

Ok, so like this is technically not a horror movie, But it was for me. Also it might be for you if you are sensitive to animal death. I literally just said that the ending of I Saw the TV Glow is how I feel as a person sometimes. Well, Nightbitch is how I tend to feel as a mother a lot of the time. I’m obviously not turning into a dog, but motherhood can have you feeling disconnected from humanity sometimes. Especially when your kids are young. You have to put everything on hold, and are still expected to do everything. And man, Heaven help you if you complain about it because everyone lies and says they don’t feel this way, but they do. Maybe not all the time.

The loss of “the village” is inhumane and I didn’t blame the main character (who doesn’t even have a name outside of “Mother” which is another conversation) for trying to find her pack. Literally I went out and spent the entire day by myself today and I kid you not, it felt like a five star vacation away from the Christmas chaos inside my house. Mothers need a break. A real break. And they deserve to not feel bad about it either! For a lot of women, the only thing remotely close the “the village” is the internet. And, most of the time it’s women humble bragging/lying about how perfect their lives are.

I really wish this movie was made when I was a young mother, or that I knew about the book. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone. Maybe I would have been able to properly treat my post partum depression before it materialized as rage towards myself. Even then, I was really lucky, because Tre has always been a hands on dad. Even if he doesn’t understand mental health, he still is able to accommodate my needs as a human being. Mother’s husband is useless. I wish all post partum had caring and attentive partners that were also good dads. Maybe then we wouldn’t be compelled to become Night bitches, or regular bitches. This is a weird time in life and tbh if everyone embraced the absurdity of motherhood, women wouldn’t feel so ostracized.