Hey Stinks, I hope you’re enjoying the new year. I hope it brings you everything you want a deserve. For me, that means Scary Movie 6. If you haven;t heard, The Wayans Brothers finally got the rights to their franchise back. Scary Movie is famous for turning multiple horror and thriller films into a cohesive plot. Usually the story revolves around Cindy, a white blonde woman, who is also a dumb ass. Cindy, along with her best friend Brenda are some of the most endearing final girls. In any other situation, they would probably be the first to get killed. I mean, Brenda does get killed a lot, but she always comes back, so it’s ok. Cindy and Brenda are in all of the movies except the fifth one. But, Mac Miller is in the fifth one. Random.

These are the movies I want to get incorporated into the plot.

01.Get Out

It was difficult for me to pick one Jordan Peele movie that I wanted to see. It feels very crucial that a Jordan Peele joint gets in this movie! Jordan and The Wayans brothers comedians that love horror. I think that Scary Movie 6 being a MonkeyPaw Production shouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility. I chose Get Out because it is the most beloved and because the alien thing was already done in a previous movie (They parodied War of The Worlds and Signs). Also, contrary to popular belief, space does tend to be the thing that does scare me and keep me up at night. Not as much anymore, since it’s like… a fact that they are real. But I used to think they were demons. Now, I kind of feel like they are angels. Like I guess I’m pretty literal and think that Heaven is in space. (The earth is round, don’t start). I recently watched some cool videos with people that have high tech cameras have recorded stars and I think they look like biblically accurate angels. Especially the ones from the book of Ezekiel. Anyway, I think it would be funny to have Brenda marry into Cindy’s extended family. Brenda is apprehensive at first about being around her new in laws. She’s just a regular girl and these are rich white folks. Cindy, being dumb can remind Brenda that Cindy isn’t rich and they don’t treat her differently. Brenda’s like “That’s not what I mean, lol”. Little do the girlies know, her family have even more nefarious plans… Which leads me to the next idea.

02. Ready Or Not/Terrifier/IT/HGTV/Smile

One of my favorite things about Scary Movie is that when people die, they tend to die in the dumbest ways. I think integrating Cindy’s family making a deal with a demon for money and having to sacrifice someone every so often ( sending them to the sunken place). That way, Cindy’s AMAZING ass luck can be explained, and it would make sense for Cindy to be there when the wedding was over.

As far as how the demon looks, I think he should be a mix of Art the Clown, and the two Pennywise. I also think it would be cool if the rich people are SUPER eccentric and have a newly renovated circus themed house. In honor of their demonic deity. I also think instead of killing people it works like the Smile Entity and makes you kill yourself (with a smile) of you piss it off.

It would also be funny if they had a shelf of random games that got turned into movies and someone being like “These all suck, let’s play Hide and Seek”. I still can’t believe how terrible Ouija was. I did like the second one, however.

03. Barbarian

Ok, I don’t want no trouble, I don’t want no smoke! I like Nicki Minaj’s music even if I don’t like her life choices a lot of the time! BUT, if Cindy and Brenda were to go into the basement of the family’s house and they came across a character that looked like “The Mother” from Barbarian/old lady that only spoke in Nicki Minaj lyrics, it would be HILARIOUS. And they could be freaked out, and someone could be like “Oh there’s nothing wrong with them besides spending too much time on Stan Twitter.”

04. X trilogy

Speaking of Twitter, I feel like this could be a good introduction into parodying Ti West’s X trilogy. The BARBarian could have looked like a regular girl (Pearl in Pearl) but wanting to be a star (internet famous) made her ugly (Pearl in X). Like Pearl and “The Mother”, The BARBarian isn’t necessarily as bad because they have sympathetic backstories. So I want to see her help Brenda and Cindy by killing family members. Maybe with an alligator!

Assorted Characters

Brenda’s husband having an invisible suit to terrorize her and also to win hide and seek (The Invisible Man)

When they’re discussing what game to play, the hand from Talk To Me is in there somehow. (Talk To Me)

Two lighthouse keepers that are batshit insane (The Lighthouse except instead of the Thomas’, it’s Batman and The Green Goblin actively making things worse)

Blind Uncle with military training that is really good at Hide and Seek ( Don’t Breathe)

And finally, my hope is for Brenda and Cindy to escape! I want Smokey to save them like how Rod saved Chris in Get Out. and before the bad characters explode (minus Cindy and BARBarian ofc)…They get a knock at the door.. annnnd it’s masked clowns (similar looking to Killer Clowns from Outer Space). The family get brutally murdered by the clowns and when asked why they do this they reference The Strangers and say: “Because you were home.” It would also be fun if the whole thing was tied together by having The Strangers take off their masks to reveal a Smile implying they were also blessed/cursed by the demon.

Anyway, what do you want to see?