As I’m sure you’ve heard, King of the Hill is getting a Hulu revival. As I’m sure you have not 

heard, I was kind of sick recently. I say kind of, because it was all self inflicted. I live with a senior cat. And, I’m allergic to Mr. T. Like, super allergic. But, for whatever reason I decided not not only to pet him, but snuggle him. Even though that’s already pretty dumb, I did something dumber not 24 hours before this. I got a chemical peel. Not only did I get a chemical peel, but I went up too far. My fitzpatrick scale has always been a little difficult to tell, so I’m not upset with the person that did it. But, I did end up having some burns. I’m mostly okay now! But, between the allergy attack and the reaction to the skincare…I was going through it. 

Like I always do when I’m sick, I put on my comfort show, which happens to be King of the Hill. In my histamine stupor, I started imagining what the revival could be like. I know these are all silly, but they were really fun to make. 

Episode 1. The Ghost of Mrs. Wakefield. 

• Mrs Wakefield’s voice actress is still alive. So, even though I HATE her episode, I would like to see an episode where she comes back and is not annoying about it. I think that this could  be a good Halloween episode. Hopefully, Hank can finally show his house in the parade of homes. Mrs.Wakefield could thank him for taking such good care of the house that she loves so much. Then she finally makes good on her promise to pass away. Except it happened somewhere normal.

However, weird stuff starts happening in the neighborhood. A rumour starts that Mrs. Wakefield is haunting everyone. It turns out it’s just Ladybird (or her equivalent) doing weird things. Hank wanted to help Ladybird’s failing health, because he can’t fathom life without Ladybird. So he got her some “holistic” dog treats for her various medical ailments. Ladybird, being high as shit could be “slamming” doors looking for more dog treats, or getting into other people’s homes and searching for the treats (she’s confused). Boomhauer is really into the idea of a “smart home”, and Ladybird acquires the remotes to his home. Bill thinks the ghost of Mrs. Wakefield is attacking Boomhauer’s house, and Dale obviously thinks the house has gone rogue, because he thinks AI is evil. Boomhauer tries to get in touch with the smart home company to try and remedy the situation. They can’t understand what he is saying because of some technical issues. 

Hank, realizing his poor dog is hopped up on canine goofanthal, tries to fix what’s going on without admitting he accidentally bought drugs (again). Dale and Bill go full ghostbusters, they try to exorcise/deprogram Boomhauer’s home. But, Ladybird is in control of the house and eventually the entire house blacks out. Dale and Bill try to leave, but they are locked in. Boomhauer eventually gets the system back up, and at the same moment, Dale and Bill break a window to “escape”.

 I would like to see Hank, Peggy, and Bobby spread Mrs. Wakefield’s ashes by the tree she planted.

Episode 2: Hank the Manager

Buck retires and plans on making Hank the manager. Buck wants to go to the restaurant Bobby works at to celebrate. Robata is a cooking method that employs charcoal. Naturally, Hank and Peggy do everything he can to hide that his son works with charcoal. His efforts are for nothing, because Buck loves the idea. Especially because Bobby uses Bill’s family’s sauce. The food is amazing. Bill is delighted for Bobby. 

Bobby convinces Chaine (the owner?) to have one propane grill so he doesn’t forget where he came from. And, because some people want to taste the meat, not the heat. He doesn’t want to be like his dad, and be afraid of his boss. The restaurant needs him, he doesn’t need the restaurant. But he wants to be like his dad, and use propane. The first new client Hank signed on as the manager was the restaurant Bobby worked at. 

Episode 3: King of the Algorithm

Bobby goes viral online, I like to think SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was recording his Dance Dance Revolution adventures in Japan. Bobby gets so well known that Hank kind of goes viral too (like Bobby gives his dad massive credit often or something idk). This catches the attention of a true crime youtuber and the YTer points out how many crimes have been attributed to Hank (Mega Lo Mart fire, Car Lot fire, Arlen Flooder, Cotton’s/Bobby’s church fire, Y2K toilet paper fire, ect). Hank thinks he’s “canceled” (that’s how he finds out what being canceled is), but all of Arlen comes together to defend him. Because I don’t remember WHERE I heard this but I heard someone say KOTH is about neighbors helping each other. And I think that’s so sweet. 

Bill invested in cryptocoin before it was popular (by mistake) and got rich. He actually uses it to improve his life. But then loses it in a huaktwah-esque scheme. And, I’m sure, in my opinion, we all know who’s advice he took on that.  Despite that, Bill stays pretty okay after losing his millions. I like to think he found love too! He expects her to leave, because he’s no longer rich, but she likes him for him!! 

Peggy meets her match, the Duolingo Owl. Peggy spends the entirety of the episode trying to contact support because they are teaching the “wrong” Spanish. They’re ignoring her for obvious reasons. Peggy gets into cryptocurrency to hide from Hank how much money she’s spending to get her hearts back. 

Boomhaur is no longer getting swipes on Tinder, because…he’s old. Seeing Bill happy in his relationship makes him call up Catherine again. She takes it as an insult, but agrees to meet up with him. The spark is gone. Bill gives Boomhauer a pep-talk so Catherine doesn’t become Boomhauers’ Lenore. Boomhauer signs up for another site that’s designed for people that want more than hookups. Throughout the season, we see him try and find love. Boomhaur is the new Bill.

Joseph, who obviously peeked in high school, gets involved with Andrew Tate type content. Dale tells him that’s not what being a man is all about. Dale tells him that the manosphere is a psyop designed to make men unattractive to women in order to control the population. 

John Redcorn starts a new age online healing program. Somehow, he ends up being an online sex worker. He gets really popular, but unfortunate it interferes with his music. So he gives it up. I saw that Jonathan Joss (John Redcorn) lost his house and his puppies in a fire. He has a go fund me, which I’ve linked here! 

Mihn and Nancy help Connie set up an Instagram. Connie only wants to use it as a creative outlet to play violin. Mihn and Nancy think she should become an influencer. Mihn thinks it’s an easy way to make money. Nancy thinks Connie should do it because Connie is young and pretty. Connie passes on all of their ideas, and Connie says “If you two have so many good ideas, you two use them!” Nancy and Mihn become influencers. Nancy gets addicted to instagram filters, and Mihn becomes addicted to Tik Tok shop. 

Anyway, some of these could be made into really cool ideas! The reboot is supposed to come this year. Are you excited? I am!!