I’ve worked hard on no longer being a hater. It’s contributed greatly to my writer’s block. However, I think I’ve come up with a solution that we can all be happy with. Here are three movies that I think would have been better off as a miniseries.

01. Him

I didn’t exactly hate this movie. I had a bad experience at the movies because I realized after like fifteen minutes, I had already read the screenplay for the movie when it was called something else. So, I’m not gonna hold that against them. I don’t care if I’m “spoiled” when it comes to media, I think it means that I get the privilege of experiencing the story in a different way. Marlon Wayans acted his ass off, and I wish we could have seen more of that character. I also feel like there was more of the story to be told. However, I don’t think this movie would ever get a prequel or sequel.

A miniseries would be able to break down the past, present (the movie we saw), and the future of the GOAT. Spoiler Alert! After all *that*, Cam still has Isaiah’s blood in him. What’s gonna happen with that? Is whatever got Tom going to get Cam? We sadly will never know.

02. Don’t Worry Darling

I’m immune to propaganda so you all can hate Olivia Wilde. Not me, I’m built different. I think that gossip and mess and spitgate ruined this movie. I think Harry dropped his gum with no ill intent. But like literally, that is still so disgusting so….idk, if that happened to me, you would see tears the caliber of a fully white woman.

Don’t Worry Darling was a very interesting and modern take on The Stepford Wives, and I don’t think it was given a fair chance. People hate feminism and boy bands. Not me, I’m built different. I would love to see the inner workings of “the town” and maybe the women’s lives before the events of the movie. Or even what losers the men were. Because, I wish the movie focused more on the fact that they didn’t even have to know the women they were doing this too….Like, hard yikes there.

And TBH, if the psychotic trad wife movement taught us anything, there are a lot of women that want to live like that anyway. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of that was like, super unnecessary. They just wanted to bring girl bosses down. Annoying gooner jabroni loser behavior!

03. Five Nights at Freddy’s

Actually, I really enjoyed this movie. I’m not completely caught up on “the lore” of FNAF, but I still think this could be a great miniseries. To be fair to my kids, they have explained it to me many times over. It’s just convoluted, and it’s not a good convoluted to be, because at the end of the day… I know they are going to explain it to me again anyway. It’s better to just immediately forget so I don’t get bored.

Five nights=Five episodes, keep up, I still think a miniseries could be made, they have multiple books and games they could adapt.

I am a Matthew Lillard super-fan, so obviously I would like to see some William Afton shenanigans. Also, like why was he pretending to be a career counselor? Was he looking for snacks for the animatronics lmao? I am thankful there is going to be a sequel because I am interested in seeing in what’s next!