Something that is kind of unexpected of someone “like me” is that I do not like “dark” Disney things. I think it’s super annoying when people try to make Disney things unnecessarily edgy. It’s dumb (to me). I now you know at least one person who thinks constantly talking about the ~morbid~ origins of Disney Princess movies is a personality trait? I tend to avoid those people. Banksy’s “Dismayland”? It’s obvious and overdone. I like some of his art, and I do get that there is a conversation to be had about the haves and have nots of Disney, we do need to talk about Marvel‘s relationship with the U.S. military industrial complex; we do need to talk about the Disney monopoly, we do need to talk about the treatment of the animals in and around Disney parks. Becauseitcanoftenleadtotragedy. We do need to talk about the various incidents of racism that Disney is a part of. But I don’t like it when people project that hopelessness and inequality on Disney movies and parks, instead of the people in charge at Disney. Especially because there is already a place in Disney for the ghastly and grotesque.

Disney produces some of the scariest and evil things children can comprehend. Disney movies are intended for the young and young at heart. If you have a problem with Anastasia and Drusilla not cutting off their toes in Cinderella, maybe Disney is not for you.

The world is dark and morbid enough, I don’t see how we progress as a society by ruining our childhoods.

But….There is an exception.

There are a lot of Disney creepypastas in existence. But the only good one that I have encountered is Abandoned By Disney. This story was originally created by a person that goes by Slimebeast. As far as I can tell, it first appeared here. I suggest reading it before continuing with this blog post.

Well, if you didn’t click the link, this is what happened. Disney spent a lot of money to make a new resort. It was to be Jungle Book themed and named Mowgli’s Palace. Which is a weird name if you’ve seen The Jungle Book or the sequel. However, The Jungle Book was the last movie Disney was personally involved in before his death. That also would make it a good hotel idea, as a tribute to Walt. Anyway, this resort located in North Carolina had a lot of controversy from the locals and closed very soon after it opened…With no explanation why. So, our narrator checks it out.

Mowgli’s Palace had everything .

From creepy whispers, to the sounds of unseen people running, to broken glass, to signs that were spray painted with the words “ABANDONED BY DISNEY”, to a fifty foot python statue that was (surprise!) actually a real big and living snake…Mowgli’s Palace was a real creepy place.

Our dude goes upstairs and comes across a door that says it’s for mascots only. It’s locked, and just like a colonizer, he unlocks it. Inside the room, he found normal break room stuff like pencils, pens, and punch cards…The stuff is all super old and decayed, so the slightest touch would affect it. So, he keeps going deeper and deeper into his exploration and sees another door. It says Character Prep1 and is striped with Black and Gold. I guess, like my dad, they were Steeler’s fans. The room was very dark so the explorer had to use his camera flash on his phone to see.

Suddenly, the lights turned on. When the Narrator’s eyes adjusted, he saw various Disney character costumes and some “native” costumes. There was also a Mickey Mouse costume in the middle of the floor lying on it’s back like a “murder victim”. The fur on the costume was in a deep state of decomposition, resulting in bare patches. The coloring of the costume was inverted. So, Mickey’s clothing was white where it should have been black and vice versa.

Our boy (or girl, idk Slimebeast’s pronouns) starts taking pictures of the costumes in different angles, saving Inverted Mickey for last. He picks up a Donald Duck mask and a whole skull falls out. The explorer decides it’s time to GTFO. But,they could not resist taking a picture of Inverted Mickey on the way out. He wanted proof that he was there.

Well, Inverted Mickey was apparently not a fan of that.

Mickey started to get up…

“Hey,” it said in a hushed, perverted, but perfectly executed Mickey Mouse voice, “Wanna see my head come off?”

-Slimebeast

Mickey takes off his head and it had thick, yellow, curdled blood. As the narrator is GTFOing, he sees the words “ABANDONED BY GOD” on the wall. Whatever wrote that used fingernails….or bone.

So, you know….Big yikes. Anyway, Slimebeast has a whole site of scary stories if you’re interested. Obviously, this is not a true story. But, Disney has abandoned plenty of projects. My personal favorite is The Land Of Legends, because I love American folklore. Since we are allegedly a melting pot of a country, we have a little bit of everything in terms of stories getting passed down.We also have the privilege of having interesting (and sometimes spooky) Native American folktales shared with us. From the Wendigo in the East to the Thunderbird in the West, part of the American experience is our tradition of sharing stories. I will always be bummed this park didn’t get built. I think that Critter County should be revamped to celebrate American Folklore, but that’s a story for another day.

What I want to talk about, and what I think is more interesting to most is Discovery Island, which was originally called Treasure Island. Unlike Mowgli’s Palace, it was opened and operated for a long period of time. Between 1974 and 1999 guests could observe the flora, fauna, and the merry weather on a private island in Florida. The island has been largely untouched, so it looks almost identical to how it originally looked if you compared it to the map. Obviously, most of it has been reclaimed by nature, but a lot of the structures still stand. If you are caught there, you get permanently banned (and fined 100 dollars) ,and if you are a cast member, you will be fired.

There are a lot of crazy theories about WHY the park closed. But, what is the most likely reason is that it cost a lot of money for the upkeep that didn’t correspond to the attendance. Who would want to look at birds and stuff when you’re at a Disney park? If my kids wanted to go to Discovery Park instead of going to the Magic Kingdom, I would have upset children that would grow into thankful adults. I love animals, but Discovery Island did not sound interesting or worth the money. Some people say that the animals were just left there, but the were actually integrated into Animal Kingdom.

So,would you risk a permanent ban and 100 buckaroos to visit a park that’s been abandoned by Disney? I would not, mainly because I am afraid of Florida. Like, type in your birthday and Florida Man and see what kind of weird stuff pops up. For all you January 10th Capricorn Kings and Queens, it’s this, this, and this. If that’s just a typical day in Florida, I do not want to be there. Not even for Disney.