There are many hills I will die on.

Michael Keaton was a great Batman, Kirkland Signature is superior to everything, Garlic is gross, and The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movies.

I know what you’re thinking, the people that made the movie said that it was a Halloween movie. But I will personally die on the hill that a movie that takes place from November 1st to December 25, about preparing for Christmas, where the climax of the movie is on Christmas,that has Santa save the day is a Christmas movie. I know, weird right? I guess I am the sole weirdo person that considers a movie that was originally intended to air alongside the Rankin-Bass stop motion Christmas specials the movie was inspired by to be a Christmas movie. You can think a movie that has virtually no official Halloween merchandise, but a bunch of Christmas merchandise and has a an entire ride redecorated to celebrate Christmas is a Halloween movie. That’s your business. That’s your hill.

If I had to create a “Nik Or Treatt” greatest hits blog collection, number one would be my article about how Jack Skellington is actually Ichabod Crane. Washington Irving is not only responsible for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; he is also the person accredited to bringing Christmas tradition to America. In fact, Saint Nicholas wasn’t apart of America’s (depressing) Christmas lore until Washington Irving went to a completely different place and experienced their culture’s Christmas, then told everyone about it. Sounds kind of familiar to me, and that’s my hill.

My favorite (and mostly forgotten) Christmas tradition is telling scary stories. The most famous one is obviously A (Muppet) Christmas Carol. But there are other scary holiday stories, legends, and traditions such as:

• Ofodile by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (here)
• The Goddess Percheta (here)
• The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle by fairy enthusiast Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (here)
• The Legend of La Befana is not scary, but scared my sons (here)
• A Christmas Reunion by Sir Andrew Caldecott (here)
• The tradition of Mari Lwyd (here)

Another cool thing to think about is that if the Christmas Eve that a literal skeleton terrorist broke into innocent people’s houses, planted terrible things such as voodoo dolls and snakes in place of presents, and was shot down by the military took place on a full moon, there were only five times that could have happened.

This could only happened in the years 1950, 1958, 1969, 1977 and 1988. Those were the only times between ww2 era and 1993 (films release) where there was a full moon.

It is the cursed year of 2020, all of those years now qualify as a scary ghost story & tales of the glories of a Christmas long, long ago. 1988 was 32 years ago. As much as 2020 sucked, and as much as this lil 90s kid cannot remember a time where the military united a nation, I’m sure the glory of the military shooting down the skeleton that was an accomplice to kidnapping Santa and thus saving Christmas would be told over and over again around Christmas time. This is hte most American Christmas story ever.

Personally, I like to think it takes place in 1988. So Kim could be telling Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas to her Grandchild. There is a German story called Der Struwwelpeter that has a character similar to Edward that the author wrote as a Christmas present to his child. And, Mark Twain translated this story to English as a Christmas present for his child. As much as everyone argues about it, Tim Burton is responsible for some of the best Christmas movies. Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Batman Returns are among my favorite things to watch in December. And you know what? Batman Returns is the best Batman movie with the best Batman.

And I will die on that hill.