As much as I love horror movies, I love movies that are weird that are like, horror adjacent so much more. With movies like that, you really have to think, “Is this scary? Or is this just bizarre?” What I love about horror is that the stuff that scares us doesn’t really have to be scary to everyone. Some people can just think it’s weird.

A good example of this phenomenon is Mother!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Mother-Poster-Rosemarys_1200_1789_81_s-537x800.jpg
Yeah, this… but in green. My theater had the alt poster so this was the first time I saw it.

Is it good? Yes, it’s wonderfully acted (despite snobs wrong opinions) and I think that the themes of the movie made people look down on it. I personally really appreciate this movie. I watched it again, and was able to make more connections to other sources besides The Bible. Like, this could be an opposite retelling of Rosemary’s Baby. Or, arguably, a prequel to Rosemary’s Baby.

Do I think it’s scary? Absolutely not. I’ve seen Begotten, which is pretty similar to the themes of this film. Which is also much more weird than scary; but like, I see what they were trying to do.

Do I think it’s weird? Yes, mostly because there is no way Mother thee Earth is a conventionally attractive white woman times over. Human beings are every color of the rainbow, but she’s white every time? Nah. Also, it’s weird because of the biblical stuff being put in a concise story. Hate! the ending. But at the same time, how else was it going to end? It really made me think about how it’s all going to end for us. existential crisis are like literally not sexy and I want nothing to do with them. No anxiety, just vibes plz.

Here are a few more weird movies I’ve watched (or rewatched) recently.

The Lighthouse

The Batman and Joker movie we deserve.

Even though I hate Twilight, I do really like Robert Pattinson’s acting. And, you know…I’m sort of a Willem Dafoe fan myself. I’ve written about The Lighthouse before. My first impression of this film made me think this movie was scary AF. The first time I viewed this, I didn’t feel like it was scary. I found it thrilling and thought provoking. The second through like fifteenth times, I thought it was hilarious because it’s so gay. And, as Fall Out Boy and Hilary Duff have told us time and time again, gay is not a pseudonym for sh*tty. I mean, these men are literally homosexuals in denial. And to me, that’s funny because like…They’re in the middle of the ocean…who is going to know? No one knew that T. Howard straight up [redacted because it’s a spoiler lol].

But, something about watching this for like the sixteenth time scared me. Like, laying in my bed thinking about what the ending actually meant. Or, when it did end, frankly we do not know.

-Did Ephraim die when Thomas Wake dropped him whilst painting? And the rest is the afterlife?

-Did Ephraim not exist and the lighthouse was Thomas Howard’s afterlife? Or vise versa?

-Did Ephraim die on the way to the lighthouse and end up in Hell instead of the place he was supposed to be working?

30% of my personality is applying Dante’s Inferno to other forms of media

-We know in Dante’s Inferno, Hell is very cold and wet thanks to the former anger of light flapping his wings. If this is Hell and the lighthouse represents Lucifer…What did Thomas Wake do to also be there? And, I know that this is also supposed to be a modern interpretation of Prometheus.But why can’t it also be inspired by both? The Lighthouse movie was originally supposed to be an adaptation of the Light-House by Edgar Allan Poe. And we do know that Eggers was inspired by more than one piece of art. So why can’t he be inspired by both Prometheus and Dante’s interpretation of Satan?

This is a penis FYI

-Were Thomas Wake and Thomas Howard/Ephraim the same person, which would explain why “self abuse” and homosexuality were recurring themes in the film?

-Did Wake literally curse Ephraim over some lobster?

-Are they both experiencing mercury poisoning?

-Did killing that Seagull seal Ephraim’s fate?

-Does the Seagull have any connection to the real Ephraim Winslow?

I have a million more questions, but we have to move on…. But for real, I could talk about this movie for freaking ever.

Come to Daddy

I don’t know where I’ve been, but apparently Elijah Wood has been doing King Shit when it comes to horror. I did not know he was the founder of SprectreVision, a production company that makes really good horror movies; almost exclusively. This includes one of my favorite vampire movies, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night and of course Mandy. Mandy is a movie I bully people to watch and they thank me for it. I should have known that he knew what was what in horror.My favorite segment in Paris,Je t’aime has Elijah Wood in it! And, it’s a horror segment that doesn’t feel too out of place in a movie that does focus on the more romantic aspects of Paris.

When I found out that Elijah Wood had a good eye for horror, I decided to watch Come To Daddy. As y’all know, due to events that still feel too recent for me, I try to avoid stuff regarding fathers. This movie was not what I expected,but in a good way. I am totally the kind of person that knows what’s going to happen before it happens.

I literally guessed EVERYTHING in Knives Out. Except I thought Ransome was going to marry Marta and get the money after making people think she did it. I did immediately buy a cable knit sweater dress after the movie, so I guess I’m predicable too. You can get a similar dress here, because I’m not letting us buy the same dress, sorry.

Meanwhile, I was pleasantly surprised by Come To Daddy. The trailers frame it as a horror/survival type of movie where you’re under the impression the main character’s “Daddy” is trying to kill him out in the woods. That is NOT what is going on at all.

Something really neat about this movie is that it was funny. Funny in a similar way to The Lighthouse. Like, some people’s idea of masculinity is hilarious to me. I think most things about toxic femininity is hilarious (Stepford Wives remake, fembots, SATC, tradwives, men lying on their “bitter” baby mamas). I’m not nonbinary obv, but I respect them the most.

Taxidermia

Listen up hotties and thotties, misophonia is real. If you don’t believe me, watch this movie. In addition to being weird it’s gross. And, a lot of things don’t gross me out. It’s about three generations of men (There’s a theme to these movies, my bad) who are all disgusting.

And bay-bee!! I am not exaggerating when I say, I did not eat for the rest of the day. This movie is really disgusting, and for like three days, I felt like it was gross for no reason at all. In fact, the first amazon review of this movie suggests that the makers of this film (directed by György Pálfi and written by Lajos Parti Nagy and also Pálfi ) need mental health counseling. I felt like that was rude, so I looked up why they made this film. It’s a political metaphor, and then I realized that it makes sense from what little I know of life in Hungary at any point in time. I feel like that puts a lot of things into perspective and I can see where they were coming from with this weird and gross movie. I think you have to be big brained to get the metaphors to begin with. But I think it’s better if you don’t know because it’s an opportunity to learn about something you might not have considered learning about before.

I like movies like this. Do I resent the fact-a-rooni that the only two eyeballs I get in this world saw a dude possibly pork a pig? Yes, absolutely. But now, I understand how desperately post war men craved pleasures they felt were owed to them after fighting in a war. I totally get that the next generation got these pleasures in excess, hence the speed eating (and fatness…first gen craved, second man indulged). The third generation man wanted to preserve what he could and was obsessed with the idea of being around for ever because it was like, Cold War-ish and everyone was under the threat of dying every damn day. Like they are all gross, but it makes sense. It’s not just gross to be gross. War…. and it’s aftermath, is disgusting. The fact that Hungary has been essentially, three different places (a fascist country, a communist country, and a capitalist country) because of politics, is gross. However, the three states of men make it make sense.

  • The first man lives under fascism. So when he gets fired up (I’m a comedian, trust me) by gross things that directly oppose fascism, it leads to his downfall. But, it leads to the production of the next generation by way of the second man. You would think that since we can all agree that fascism is bad that he would serve as a hero for rebelling. Alas, no, he is used as an example. In a way, this continues fascism. As his story is to be consumed as a warning to not be a degenerate.
  • The second man lives under communism. So when he eats ALL the food, it leads to his downfall. But, this leads to the next generation’s magum opus. You would think that since the consensus is that communism is bad, that he would serve as a hero for rebelling. Alas, no he is used as macskaeledel. In a way, this continues communism. As his story is to be consumed by uh, macskák.
  • The third man lives under capitalism. So when he choose not to stuff himself with all the “wonderful” things capitalism has to offer, it leads to his downfall. Because he stuffs himself pero like literally. You would think that since the consensus is that I think Bernie Sanders should have been president that the man would serve as a hero for rebellion. Alas no, he is used for entertainment. In a (big) way, this continues capitalism. As his story is to be consumed by museum goers.

macskák

And that leads us to late stage capitalism by way of the museum man incorrectly explaining what happened. Capitalism doesn’t care about reasons, capitalism cares about selling sh*t. I personally think that the filmmakers were leaning towards saying the other S word would be a better way to live life,but that may just be my personal feelings. But at this point in the pandemic, I think I am an A word. Speaking of my personal feelings…. The reason I stopped pursuing a career in museums is because,the older I get I don’t think that some things should be in museums and should be returned to the cultures they belong to. Like, some of the stuff in museums is straight up grave robbing and I’m not with the sh*ts!

The movie leads me to believe that as humans, we are consumed by consumption no matter what. And that is too much to think about. Like I said before, existential crisis are like literally not sexy and I want nothing to do with them. No anxiety, just vibes plz.

And you know what? Maybe I am big brained because…three generations…..three courses….It be like that sometimes. I wanted to recommend these movies without explaining too much. But I really wanted to put Taxidermia into context. I thought it was an interesting concept, but I didn’t want people to write it off because it’s gross. Or because it’s not in English.

Anyway, if you have some weird movies ou want me to watch, just lmk!

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